Relationships with Other Staff Members

Who do you get along with on your staff?  Who makes you crazy?  Lots of times kidmin people feel very much like we exist in our own world in the church.  Sometimes we feel like no one understands our world, much less appreciates it.  And alot of times, those feelings or perceptions are our own fault.

Because we are so busy, sometimes our relationships with other staff members do not take priority.  We invest little and then wonder why they don’t understand us.  We gripe a lot and then we gripe that they don’t want to be involved in our worlds.

I don’t write this to say I do it well, but here are some things I think many of us can do better when relating to other staff members.

–  Be your pastor’s biggest fan – Look for ways to make his job easier, not just ways he should be helping you.  He is called to lead the church and your call is to support him.  He is the one who lets you have a job, by the way.  Communicate good things that are happening.  Avoid sharing problems unless he really needs to know or really can help.

–  Be the loudest cheerleader for the other ministries in your church, especially the youth ministry – when did we decide we were competing with everyone else.  And what exactly are we competing for?  Your interest should be that the whole church is healthy, not just your ministry.  Speak highly of other ministries and encourage other ministers.

–  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil. 2:3-4) I have nothing to add to that.

–  Invest in relationships – Get to know the people you serve with.  Really get to know them.  Be a friend.  Stop by to say hello and find out what’s new in their world (but try not to be annoying).  Go to lunch.  Invite their family over for dinner.  Don’t be an island.

–  Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Let’s be honest, the people you work with screw up.  (And so do you, by the way.)  But evaluate what is really worth getting upset about.  Proverbs 19:11 teaches us, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”  If it is a big deal, talk to the person about it.  If it really truly isn’t, just overlook it and let life go on.

–  Do your job well – Don’t be the weak link of the team.  Additionally, don’t waste energy that you can put into your own ministry by constantly critiquing what others should be doing better.  Work hard.  Seek to improve yourself and your ministry.  Be open to and seek feedback from others about how you can improve your ministry and how you can improve professionally.

In days to come, I will be posting some “guest posts” written by my fellow staffers with their views on how kidmin can best serve/work with them.  It will be good stuff!

What are some tips you would share about relationships with other staff.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Philippians 2:3-4

1 thought on “Relationships with Other Staff Members

  1. VERY good post! This is great stuff for all children’s ministry leaders to hear! I am so very blessed to have an amazing pastoral leadership team to serve with, but it does take intentionality to not be isolated from them/the rest of the church. A few things I can add that I have learned about relating to other staff members…

    -Don’t fight over volunteers — one of the greatest things our youth pastor did for me was give me one of his best volunteers (someone who he felt had a gift and calling to children’s ministry leadership – and BOY WAS HE RIGHT, that person rocks, btw), and I have suggested people to our youth pastor who I thought would be great leaders in the youth ministry. We are all working on the same team, not trying to steal volunteers from each other.


    -Invite them to see what’s going on. I found out after a year of never seeing any other pastoral staff at any children’s ministry events that they didn’t ever participate because they weren’t invited. The other staff pastors love getting to see great stuff happening and feel a part of the children’s ministry every now and then, they just want to be invited (not all of them, but some really do). We usually ask almost all of the pastoral staff participate in VBS (or some other event like that) every year, and everyone loves it.

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